GUIDE: I HAVE EXPERIENCED LOSSAlexander Kofinas
YOUR NEW JOURNEY TO
THE KOFINAS PROTOCOLGuide to Healthy Pregnancies
IʼM HERE TO HELPWelcome, I’m so glad you’re here now although I wish I could have met you sooner! I am very sorry to see that you are not in a good place. You have been in a “black hole” of anguish and torment. I could not pretend that I feel your pain. However, I have seen thousands of patients just like you and over the years, my heart and soul have been permeated with all the severe emotions that you have experienced during your coveted journey to motherhood. I am not sure if your losses came after a natural conception or after fertility treatments, but I am certain that the pain of each loss has been getting more intense every time. I cry with my patients, the cries of despair. And I cry with them also from the joy that only a beautiful, vibrant, and healthy baby can generate. A most cherished and sacred moment that I relish every time. I am glad we met at last. I want to assure you that I can help you. By trusting me and my process, I will hold your hand, and help you to the moment you will become the mother you have always wanted to be! Trust me, we can do it together!
FIRST COMES HEALINGVALIDATE YOUR SUFFERINGYou must realize that your suffering is immense and validated. Society tries to brush these feelings under the table and say, “you will be okay.” But this is not true, I believe mothers who experienced loss express a deeper appreciation and understanding of just how lucky they have been to ultimately get to this point, despite all the suffering along the way.NURTURING YOUR SUFFERINGThe emotional healing process is a long journey. You may be able to achieve it by yourself or seek professional help. Nurturing your suffering as part of a more meaningful way to reach your destination of motherhood can bring you immense wisdom and gratitude!GET ANSWERSIf youʼve experienced loss, you deserve to know why. Consulting a Maternal-Fetal Medicine specialist who is an expert in the causes of recurrent pregnancy loss and recurrent IVF failure is an important step on your path to healing and trying again.
HOW TO TRY AGAIN
Donʼt wait to get evaluated because with each loss itʼs less about untreatable genetic causes and more about underlying factors that can be treated and prevent the next loss.
Every woman must be evaluated after every single loss. When a woman loses her first pregnancy ever, in half of the cases of loss, there is a genetic cause. This is often wrongfully interpreted that there is no need to do anything about it. What about the other half? In the second loss, the number of genetic defects drops to only 30% and after the third loss, the number shrinks further to less than 10%. This tells me most of the babies who are lost in recurrent miscarriages were destined to become healthy babies and their loss could have been prevented. Women currently delay their first pregnancy and if they wait to lose three pregnancies or more before they are investigated, they run the risk of never being able to have a baby.
So, when is the right time to try to conceive again?
This is not a physiological medical question. The emotional trauma is the defining factor here on deciding when to start trying again. You will be ready when your heart is healed, and you feel strong enough to take the risk of another potential loss. Only then you can feel confident that you are ready to resume the journey.
So, when youʼre ready to conceive again, you must be evaluated for the potential causes of recurrent miscarriage. Only then will you have the opportunity to become pregnant and stay pregnant. Most patients with recurrent miscarriages have no problem conceiving but they have problems with sustaining pregnancy. On the other hand, many patients with recurrent miscarriage are mistakenly referred by their obstetricians to a fertility specialist. This is unfortunate and could delay reaching your destination further.